When you’ve been divorced or are at its precipice, considering a new relationship is often a challenge, unless of course there’s one in the background. It can seem like too much work: “How can I go through this again?", "How can I ever trust anyone again?”, “What’s the point anyway?” or life seems to have become a “Mission Impossible.” (BOMP BOMP bom bom.BOMP BOMP bom bom ... )

Some women after divorce hurl themselves into new relationships, rebounding or experimenting. Some women wait, but others actively search. Some find all the excitement of love with a new man, (or sometimes a woman), and sometimes even without looking the perfect partner appears. (;-)

My new relationship began because FWW appeared. I wasn’t looking. And now I’m excited about you, blog readers. My heartbeats are noticeably present and pounding. My cheeks have higher color. I feel a briskness (no, not a brisket!) in my high heeled or cowboy booted walk, even when I’m not stalking a Starbucks for something besides the coffee ...

It’s you I want to get to know, want to reach, want to learn from. And, as with any relationship, I hope you feel the same way. ("lubDUB. lubDUB.)

I’m here in cyberspace to find you, hear you, and “get” you. What is it that you want? What are you looking for? How determined are you? How much of your good energy are you using? How can I help?

Let me know.
Remember, “This Blog’s For You.”
Judith

We all have both traditional and seasonal opportunities for new beginnings. For example, September for many of us means new pens, pencils, and notebooks to prepare for school. We buy them for our kids, or split the list with our former husbands, or with the father of our children and manage to sneak in a few treats for ourselves. We save the notebooks like fine china and wait till the right time. We now have drawers full of fresh, empty notebooks, waiting... but for what? a special occasion? the perfect project? for Godot?

While January’s New Years offers new beginnings, it seems that resolutions are more wishes than goals. As a result, we fail easily and feel defeated.

For example:
• “I won’t call or email my former husband again.”
• “I’ll join a gym. “
• “That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m getting organized”.

Daylight Savings Time, earlier than ever this year, presents another chance for new beginnings.

Whether or not weather complies, let’s picture ourselves in the glowing late afternoon sunlight, windows open, soft breezes, September’s pen and notebook at the ready. We’ve made, poured, and carried our favorite tea in a fine china cup (which we never seem to use that often because it’s too fragile, it’s not a special occasion, or we ourselves don’t ever seem to be special enough). We plant ourselves in our sun-kissed spot with the intention, (thank you, Wayne Dyer, www.waynedyer.com, among others) of sipping rather than gulping, savoring both the tea and the moment.

The change into Daylight Savings Time offers an opportunity for new beginnings. Can we allow ourselves to set aside a few moments for ourselves? Can we “be here now”? What would it take for us to give ourselves new beginnings? Moments of renewal? Is it even possible? What will it take for us to believe that we are worth it?

We can all learn from what you think. Please let me know….

I’ve worked with many women, (and men), at various stages of their lives. The women had two things in common: Being a woman, of course, and having an ability to create connection.

Research by insightful writer and linguist (no, not what you’re thinking) Deborah Tannen, professor at Georgetown University, (http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/) found that women talk with one another to create rapport, (sounds like “The Colbert Report”).

Even though women quickly identify differences by age and race, they connect by identifying common ground, or by finding similarities. (Think of Ellen as she hosted the Academy Awards, searching for common ground with Gwynneth Paltrow:
“You have a daughter named Apple, I eat apples.”)

Recently I participated in a women’s workshop through WomenVision, http://www.womanvis.com, where I knew one of the women only slightly. I had no rational clue to help me find a way to build bridges with the 30- something women-strangers. During the workshop, one activity was to write quietly about “passion”. Slowly, I realized, without proof or examples, that in my childhood home, passion signified danger or lack of safety.

Tears unexpectedly dripped down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop myself from silently weeping. Finally, with the occasional sniff, I knew I needed tissues. As I looked up to search for tissues, I saw my reflection in another woman sitting across from me. She looked up at that same moment, also with silent tears, sniffles, on a tissue search.

After we “got” our mirror images, neither of us could contain belly laughs of recognition. Where we’d had no previous connection, that one shared wordless moment of tears, tissues, and loving laughter forged a bond.

Everyone wants a little dish…. (no, not the kind from your bridal registry….) I mean behind the scenes, as in “back story.”

You’ve got to know – and I’m here to tell you-- the FWW team is a WOW group of peeps. Each one has vision, energy, enthusiasm, concern, caring and excitement. They’ve prepared and launched this site intended to reach women with various needs related to divorce.

For technogeeks or stat-peeps, in the four weeks since launching, readers are studding the US map, (no, not that kind….) and have already expanded internationally.

The best part? Whatever they do, whatever actions they take, plans they initiate, research they request, they have YOU in mind. In other words, they care are about YOU! Who?
Readers who’ve found FWW.
Readers yet to find FWW.
Women with divorce in mind, memory, imagination, and fact.
Men similarly interested.

The FWW team has limitless positive energy for meeting the needs of women who’ve been touched, flattened, or propelled by divorce. Readers will benefit from your experience, insight, specific suggestions, and success. Already, you’re not alone. I’m learning as well. For example, when I first considered writing a blog about divorce, I fell back on stereotypes--- loss, anger, and helplessness.

Divorce. In the game of Charades, (pulling on the earlobe), “sounds like” force, coarse, abortion, hoard, torture, mortgage. Yes, “divorce” fits with words that sound curt, blurting from the front of the mouth, generating images of hard-edged feelings, impact, and unforeseen fallout.

As I continued ruminating, I flashed on softer sounding words and phrases related to divorce, with open sounds, such as sing, dance, kiss, stroll, smile, celebrate, play, laugh.