firstwivesworld - Resource Article - Comments

re: How right you are, Cathy!

Guest — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 18:08:04 -0500

While reading your characterizations of women who are victims of this form of abuse, I realized that you were describing the same way a woman of physical abuse feels. You're right. Abuse of any form is not to be tolerated. Thank you for sharing and taking a stand. We must help one another -- that's why we're on this planet. - Wanda

why you need to find a good divorce attorney

Guest — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:32:23 -0500

Going through a divorce without a good divorce lawyer can be disastrous!! You need to get a good attorney. An experienced lawyer will inform you of your legal rights and will represent your best interests. An incompetent divorce lawyer can put you at a significant disadvantage .. especially if your ex (soon to be) has an attorney

online affair

Guest — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:45:08 -0500

OMG, my H too plays online and has met someone else after 22 years of marriage. We have two kids and a farm that he is no longer interested in. What a loser!

re: Many thanks for this

Guest — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:11:21 -0500

As you know, Cathy, I was a victim of abuse. Thank you so much for sharing this insightful information with us. As hard as "facing" the truth of my own abuse was, and as hard as it was to move beyond and begin again, the joy and freedom of my life, today, was well worth the struggle and the work. Thank you. Woo

I agree

Guest — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:08:27 -0500

It was the most stress"less" holiday season yet. But, more than anyone else, I believe it was me. I just don't care about impressing or repressing. I was myself through and through, and found that for the first time in years, I finally found the "peace" fo the season. As usual, you're right on, Cathy. Woo

Five actions before divorce

Guest — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 04:46:44 -0500

Good tips but, be careful when ordering credit reports. Of course you know his social security number and everything needed to get his credit bureau, but remember, you can legally access only YOUR credit records. Accessing the records of others (even those of your spouse) without permission is unlawful. Better to come up with a legitimate/justifyable reason for reviewing credit records and get his buy-in. Think creatively, it shouldn't be too hard. After all, everythying we read says consumers should review credit records annually anyhow. Why not make this a New Year's resolution? Getting his permission should eliminate any clains of "foul" from him and save you trouble. Just my two cents.

Money matters before a divorce

Guest — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 14:14:28 -0500

Also, try to get to the bottom of what is going on with your spouse financially. Sometimes spouses try to hide accounts and cash from the other. Get as much paperwork as you can. Become a sleuth divorcee. from Divorce Saloon, www.divorcesaloon.com

telling the kids about divorce

Guest — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 15:20:06 -0500

The most important thing to consider is to make sure your kids DO NOT think the divorce was their fault. Really, take a big note here and stick it on your bathroom mirror to remind you everyday to remind them everyday. It's so easy for them to start to blame themselves.

What about "relationship bootcamp" first?

Guest — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:43:29 -0500

We just did a piece on Divorce Saloon about people who are not so sure they want a divorce. They may even be separated but still emotionally connected. Have you heard of relationship boot camp? They may need to try it rather than throw in the towel. Although we are divorce lawyers, we advocate making ABSOLUTELY certain that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, to try everything, before consulting with a divorce lawyer. Every marriage is worth the effort it takes to be certain. by Divorce Saloon. www.divorcesaloon.com

How much does divorce cost?

Guest — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:38:45 -0500

It depends. The average contested divorce for people of modest means in New York is about $10,000. However, for high net worth individuals who are fighting over the prenup, custody, and assets, it could run in the six figures quite easily. By Divorce Saloon www.divorcesaloon.com

On getting shagalicious after a divorce

Guest — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:29:24 -0500

I have linked to this page for my readers on Divorce Saloon. This is a great list. Good work as always, First Wives World! By Divorce Saloon www.divorcesaloon.com

Acceptance and Love...

Guest — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 13:52:10 -0500

Teach your kids about acceptance love and fairness...Teach your kids about putting yourself in someone elses shoes...This will help the blendid families in the future around the holidays..

xmas...

Guest — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 13:44:45 -0500

I don't know if this is very good advice. My children from a previous marriage now 17 and 15 are hurt every year by the way the their step grandparents treat their biological grandchildren. My children have been around for 14 years in the blendid family. You would think that after this amount of time the family would have adopted them in as biological. It's more about your heart and the childs heart and acceptance, children look at fairness. Not biological standpoints. My children feel rejected when the grandparents give them a 25.00 gift card from Old Navy every year, and the other two get motorized hummers, diamonds, clothes, the list goes on..My oldest don't even wear Old Navy, so I end up giving them cash. Every year they walk away not only feeling rejected, but feeling their step grandparents that they have accepted as their grandparents did not even care enough about them to find out who they are and what they like...Every year it's a heart break.. These are children with feelings and when treated unfair biological or not it's damageing, no matter how you look at it...When you get married knowing there is stepchildren..You accept the whole package..Not individual pieces..And if the other family members are not willing to accept this then they are the ones who should keep all their gifts to themselves...Love ALL the children.

the average cost of divorce is about $8000

Guest — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:12:07 -0500

at least that's what mine cost me .. and that was getting off cheap. I know some women whose divorces ended up turning into a circus of emotions and fighting. Lawyers made out the most.

try legal separation before divorce

Guest — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:09:07 -0500

My ex and I did. It helped us understand each other better. Yeah, it might help some save their marriages which is always good, but for us, it showed us we just were not a good fit. And I credit legal separation for allowing to have move forward with an amicable divorce.