telling the truth

Guest — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:05:51 -0400

I am newly seperated and I feel your pain. I met a nice man recently and he asked me why my marriage broke up. He was the first "stranger" that asked. It was so hard for me to say out loud, "my husband met someone else and he left me for her." I thought for sure the guy was looking at me like, wow, what did you do that was so bad. I was so embarassed to tell him. It made me feel so like I was such a loser, like what is wrong with me that my husband left me for another woman. But then the man said, you are such a lovely woman, what is wrong with him? It wasn't you, it was him. I could have kissed him right then and there. But it is hard to admit that you have been dumped after 25 years of marriage. I guess that is just the way of the world these days.

Fielding Uncomfortable Questions

A.J. Wylder — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 14:00:00 -0500

My Thanksgiving holiday kicked off with a very awkward moment at work.

It was near the end of the workday and people around the office were getting ready to head home to begin their long holiday weekend when the head of the company approached a few co-workers and me.

It was like a scene right from the crime fiction TV series "Columbo," where everything seems fine until at the last moment when Lieutenant Columbo (played by Peter Falk) asks the suspect that crucial incriminating question, cracking the case wide open.

After chatting for a few moments, he started to walk away when, at the last moment, he turned back around to ask me where I was going for Thanksgiving. I said in an uplifting tone that I would probably go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. He was struck by the fact that I would not be sharing that time with family.

I explained to him that I had no family in the area and that I was going to visit them in a few weeks anyway so I had decided to stay in Manhattan. That didn't ease his mind.

Here's the awkward part: He then asked me, "What happened? Did your boyfriend break up with you?" Apparently, he forgot that I was married. I didn't know what to say, so I glazed over his question as I tried to reassure him that I was fine with staying in town for the holiday. The last thing I wanted was a discussion about my divorce.

He asked again, "Is that what happened? Your boyfriend broke up with you? How long ago did it happen?"

I just told him that it happened "a while ago" and finally was able to move off the topic. I never did correct him and say that I was divorced.

It is such an uncomfortable feeling when someone who doesn't know the situation asks such questions. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide.

firstwivesworld - Fielding Uncomfortable Questions - Comments

telling the truth

Fielding Uncomfortable Questions