Why Do We Push People's Buttons?

Taylor Raine — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 15:00:00 -0500

I've been attending a women's empowerment group for victims of domestic violence, which has helped me tremendously understand and confront controlling behaviors exhibited towards me. I'm in my second "round" of the 12-step program, which covers a variety of topics including co-dependency, boundaries, anger, etc.

As I go through this class the second time around, I have found new meaning in the material provided to me.

The first time around, several months ago, setting boundaries meant just sharing my opinion about how my personal space was being affected and abused. Doing this was an extremely difficult undertaking for me. I'd been told that my needs weren't important, that my feelings weren't of concern and that I pretty much served little purpose other than to "provide" at my ex's beck and call.

I set a huge boundary when I asked for personal space in my marriage to sort through my feelings. Yes, I have feelings! Imagine that. I set another defining boundary when, because I asked for space and it was not given, I just didn't answer the phone or emails.

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Why Do We Push People's Buttons?