firstwivesworld - Help: Advice Needed - Comments

Remind her she's still his aunt.

elainemarleneforbes — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 00:50:22 -0400

She must care or she wouldn't have sent the gifts and she may be as confused as to how to proceed as you. I think the thing to do would be to send a card telling her how Adrian is doing and how he liked the gift assuming it is positive and remind her that she is still Adrian's aunt regardless of your relationship with Levi. Frankly Erica has done better than a lot of us. My ex's sister has two children. I have missed them since the separation but have never had the guts to contact her. My excuse is that it is my husband that left and that therefore anyone in his family who still wanted to be part of my life should have contacted me to tell me that I am still a relative. No one did. Actually two months before he left he seemed to be acting strange. I called his father to discuss the situation he was hostile and cold. I guess my husband had got to him first. That was seven years ago. My husband was not much into family. It was me who bought gifts for his family and urged him to visit, call and invited them to our home. He would have lost contact with them if it were not for me I think. I therefore thought that some day someone would contact me but I guess that won't happen. I thought when my mother died someone would send flowers or a card or come but no one did. I am convinced they are awful people.

Write or Tell Her Thank You

beautirest46 — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 04:22:55 -0400

Love covers a multitude of Sin. I believe she has a conscience. She did think enough to send the balloons. I always told my children. Noone ever has to do anything for you. But if they do Tell them Thank-you. We have to remember you reap what you sow. When we have children , We have to be mindful of the things we do and how we behave. Maybe she is trying to make things right. Sometimes we might not get a second chance to do what we should have done the first time.. You do what is right. I believe you know or you would not have asked what should you do? Be Bless and pray for forgiveness. It is for you. Not them.

Thanks...

Faith Eggers — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 18:23:04 -0500

Thanks for the advice ladies -- Looks like I have to say thank you!!

Thankful

Taylor Raine — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 11:53:56 -0500

My question to you would be, are you thankful for the gesture? If it was someone else, would you say thank you to them? If so, say thanks. Or, probably what I would do on my children's behalf, is write a brief thank you note, with a handprint...

She might feel just as badly that her brother is trying to disassociate herself from her nephew....

You never know.
Taylor Raine

thank her kindly

Guest — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 11:24:28 -0500

Put another notch in genuine thank you column. Don't play games by sending a thank you via Levi - that's taking it down to his level. Step it up.

I couldn't agree more with the person who said worst case you do the right thing and nothing changes. Best case you create an opening for your son to develop a relationship with his aunt.

I would thank Erica

Guest — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 21:35:15 -0500

Worst case -- you thank her for her gift and things remain as they always were. But, the best case if you respond, is that she will find the courage to rise above the pressure she feels from her family and get to know her nephew which will benefit him. So I think that you should send a heartfelt "thank you".

Don't be damaged goods!

Guest — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 19:13:24 -0500

First of all, I understand your mixed emotions about the balloons. That said, when a kid is in the hospital, all of a sudden the crap between adults seems a bit insignifigant. I'm guessing that is why she decided to take the high road, and sent the gift.

That said, of course you say thank you.

You need to remember, his friends and family are all hearing HIS side of the story. Your probably couldn't even imagine the horrible things your ex is saying about you.

That's why it is imperative for you to ALWAYS act the way you would --- before you were injured by your ex. Don't choose to be DAMAGED GOODS. Be yourself, remember who you were before your ex drug your life through the mud and find her again.

Only then will you find happiness. Plus, you are setting a good example for your child and ALL the people in your life who act like children. :) Good luck to you!

I agree with Randie's reply.

Guest — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 15:17:04 -0500

I agree with Randie's reply. It's important to acknowledge the gesture and rise above their horrible behavior. I hope your son is feeling better.

Faith, I would tell Levi to

Guest — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 18:25:04 -0500

Faith,

I would tell Levi to thank her for you. That way he knows she made contact and you don't have to. I hope you are getting some rest and Adrian is feeling somewhat better.

Randie

Help: Advice Needed

Faith Eggers — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 18:00:00 -0500

I need some advice. I called Levi to tell him that Adrian was admitted into the hospital, and may need surgery. He didn't answer his phone, so I left him a message explaining all of the details and the number that I can be reached at. I haven't heard from him, and I'm not surprised.

Today, however, Levi's sister Erica sent Adrian two bouquets of balloons and two stuffed animals. I didn't tell her that Adrian's in the hospital, so I'm assuming Levi relayed that to her.

I haven't spoken to Erica since Levi informed her that she was not allowed to communicate with me or have a relationship with Adrian. I believe that was back in August.

I'm very disappointed with the way she conducted herself, and I'm disgusted that she allowed Levi to have so much control over her that she stopped speaking to me, or taking any interest in Adrian. I've sort of lumped them all — Levi's family and friends — together in my brain as, to quote George Bush, "the axis of evil". I really hold nothing but contempt for these people.

I don't know what this gesture means. It's confusing the hell out of me and I'd just as soon choose to ignore it. However, some friends and family of mine seem to think that I must at least thank her.

I don't want to thank her. I don't want to engage with these people at all. What do you think? Do I have to say thank you?