firstwivesworld - Divorced … Except For The Paperwork - Comments

no paperwork here either

maggyp42 — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:16:12 -0500

I have been separated since December, 2004. Same goes here, why am I dragging my butt? The papers are ready and yet I can't seem to find the time or do I not want to find the time. No insight here as to why! I think a part of me is afraid to let go and a part of me is ready to get going! I wish I knew what makes it so hard to just get it over with.

Could be...

Naomi Dunne — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 06:58:33 -0500

I think part of it is that if I don't get divorced, I don't have to go through the hassle of getting remarried. My new mother-in-law asked me the other day, "Why don't you get married on a boat?"

I'm so not ready for all of that.

Maybe because it's final?

Guest — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 17:29:32 -0500

Maybe because it's final? The end of a chapter in your life can be hard to deal with. But looking forward to the new life that you have is better!

Divorced … Except For The Paperwork

Naomi Dunne — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 17:00:00 -0500

I’ve been separated nearly eight years. I’m engaged to my new partner, and we have a little boy together. I’ve changed my last name to his. I wear a wedding ring and a rock that continues to blow my mind.

But I’m still not divorced. Why?

When my ex and I first separated, I didn’t file for divorce because it was too expensive. Even done through paralegals with both parties’ agreement, it was going to cost a thousand bucks I didn’t have. When I did have the money, or knew I could save for it, I thought someday we might get back together — not because we were in love, but for the same reason we got married in the first place: It would be good for our son.

Now I think we’re all aware that we’re not getting back together. I’m making more money than I ever have in my life. There is no child support or custody or access to discuss. We even laugh that when we finally make it official, the only issue still unaddressed is who gets the Led Zeppelin albums. All of the practical arrangements were made years ago.

So what is my problem? The money is in the bank. The ex is ready to sign. The new in-laws are getting antsy about wedding bells. Why am I incapable of getting off my ass? Any insights?