firstwivesworld - What To Do When Your Kids Hate The Step-Mom - Comments

What?

Guest — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:22:32 -0400

Why do think you have let your kids down? My son actively dislikes the woman my ex married. She is hateful and is incrediably disrepectful to me and him. He dislikes her for his own reasons. She is a horrible nasty jealous woman. I have no desire to try to make nice with her..she dosn't deserve that privledge and I DO NOT feel guilty and my son has never and will never turn on me because I am the only parent in this situation that stands on the moral high ground...I am sick of the "poor 2nd wife/step "mom" narrative." Just a bunch of pyscho-babble BS...go with your gut instincts about what is best for your kids! Oh and I read these articles to see what kind of nonsence the "experts" are "sharing."

kids

Guest — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:53:01 -0400

The sad thing is that kids who want to be loved by a parent that is not loving them in return will depise you, I have learned after a divorce. It takes one bad parent to ruin it for the kids and the ex I have also learned. They grave so much attention from the bad that the only way they can get attention is to be mean to the good parent. What I get confused about is do you discipline the child or keep on going to court and try to deal with the bad parent. I feel in Washington the state doesn't care about the kids!! I feel women have got so independent that they now play the mans role (work, dad) and they are leaving their kids behind, literally. I honestly believe its important to have both parents in the picture but something has happened here. I have lived here since 97 and pretty much I have met 1 decent mom (was has happened) They are either on drugs, alcohol, meth or abusing their kids. Why is the state allowing them to see their kids when the good parents are trying to save them and make them a better person in the community. I cry almost every night because what happens and all they will say is its a moral issue, or that if that person bad you are not going to be able to change it so pretty much get over it. There is only one big problem!!!!!! These are our kids!!!!!! We just try to maintain and do our best and it feels like it never matters or the other parent will turn our good to bad hardly seems fair. The sad thing is she knows she does it she does it on purpose to get back at other parent cause she is a ugly preson. Just today their dad got in an accident and one of his kids laughed they wish he was dead......because the mom has told the kids that what comes around goes around because she almost died do to a brain tumor even though she was misusing drugs on top of that and alcohol and not coming home at night. How does that work? The guardian at litem even thought there wasn't even enough for the divorce......even though she didn't come home nights (out all night). Sometimes she wouldn't even come home in time for the dad to come to work!!!!!! No one seems to care. My question is why? Why do the bad people get away with these things?

my kids

Guest — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 02:51:46 -0400

i feel Ive let my kids down. They have resentment agaunst me! all i wanted to do is givbe them a better life!

What To Do When Your Kids Hate The Step-Mom

Brenda Rodstrom — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:24:24 -0400

This question is asked by many people in step relationships, and the questioners sometimes have their own agenda. It can be quite human to, well, not be so unhappy if your kids hate the woman who was responsible for the demise of your marriage. But is hating the step mom healthy for the kids? The answer is a resounding NO.

Hate is a very strong emotion, and not one that you want your kids to walk around with. They will be spending time with their step-mom, and surely you don’t want them to hate this time. So, here are some ideas on how to deal with this.

First, it is really unlikely that their stepmother is a hateful person. This tells me that it isn’t the person they hate but the situation of being children of divorce and having to now share their father with someone else. With this in mind, I counsel moms to talk to their kids about the situation (divorce and remarriage) being the thing that they dislike — not a person. Help them to see this and you’ve taken a big step.

The absolute best way to foster a better relationship between your kids and their stepmother is to model it. While you don’t have to be friends, there are a lot of things you can do. Ask nicely about her after they have spent some time with her. Encourage them to see the good in her — not the bad. Suggest activities they can do with her. Let them see you interact well with her. This can be over the phone, at a “drop off”, a school event. By acting nicely to her, you are giving them permission to do the same.