firstwivesworld - Happy, And A Survivor - Comments

The question

Guest — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 17:24:41 -0400

I too have difficulty with well intentioned people asking me, who aren't "up to speed" on my life. I feel like I have to go through all those feelings all over again when I break the news...we're getting a divorce. Sometimes I think it would be easier if there were someway everyone I knew would get a flyer announcing the divorce, the details, etc. so I don't have to say it all over again. Then again, it's good to get the reasurance and support from well intentioned people. Just remember, you did survive and have a wonderful life waiting for you. Thanks for sharing!

You survived

Dorotheaa — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 15:33:53 -0400

Michelle, it's sometimes, trying to decide if the questions are gossip or genuine concern for where you are in your life. I have five friends and I swear its interrogation every time we get together, and we are all past 59 years old..in other words those friends of yours will always want to know, where you are in your relationship, and it is because they care..... My strategy, if it's really a bad day and I don't want to tell...I ask them to reserve the question for a better time. I thank them for caring and then.......I ask them an inquiring question and usually one of us is ready to tell... In the end like you, I'm glad I have them to fall back on...

Good luck and I understand.

Dorothy from grammology
call your grandma

http://grammology.com

Happy, And A Survivor

Michelle Rosenthal — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 15:00:00 -0400

About a year and a half ago, the hedge fund I worked at shut down. I worked with the same group of people for three and a half years, and they became almost like a second family.

They were there for all of the changes that occurred in my life, from Steve and I moving in together, to getting engaged and finally to planning my wedding. During those years, I experienced so many things, and they were witness to the majority of them.

Although we don’t work together anymore, we all meet for Happy Hour every six months to catch up, keep in touch and stay connected to each other. Prior to our most recent get-together, I was dreading the question I knew they would all ask: “When are you and Steve planning to have children?” For most people, that question isn't the most appropriate, but it seems that people ask it regardless — especially people that you have worked with for such a prolonged period of time.

I arrived at the bar a bit late, since I got stuck at work, and was a bit relieved that the gossip train had already made it’s way there. I was spared the question, but was asked many more, since they had basically been there for the majority of my relationship with Steve.

They wanted to know what happened, whether I was okay, whether Steve had cheated. They were questions that I really hadn’t had to answer in months, since the people that I surround myself with all know the answers. I felt like I was on the witness stand, but I knew that they were just making sure that I was holding up well.

I’m happy that I am a survivor and am able to take these things in stride. And most importantly, I am happy for my ability to hold my head up high and be okay with the events that have occurred in my life.