firstwivesworld - A Reader's Cry For Help - Comments

i know your pain--all too well

Guest — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:01:28 -0400

in the last 2 years i went thru the divorce of my 26 marriage,breast cancer and a heart attack.Ive survived all of this, but the lingering emotional pain of the person I most trusted in the world-cheating lying stealing and divorcing me.No reason but he wanted to be free to go sleep around and be with low class people.I never had a clue in 26 years who he was to become.I have cried,and have suffered too but am in therapy now and actually am workin on regaining my self esteem -due to losing a breast. injured yeah Ive been thru the mill.Still I ran my business all thru chemo,sugery and am handling the house and 4 dogs too.Inside I am devastated. Yesterday a person who wants to take me out--I got paranoid and canceled the first date. Am I ever gonna heal emotionally to be THERE and trust and love again?

"The Older Divorcee"

Elizabeth Cortez — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:56:03 -0400

Karen, We must have been married to the same guy! Yes our stories are very long but we have great stories! What I want to tell you is that YOU have not let anyone down!!!! You need to believe in YOU Karen and you are someone very important to so many people. Do not let this divorce / seperation hinder who you are and I do not believe for one moment that you are not attractive. God does not make unattractive people!!! We are all beautiful in our own special way and this is where YOU have to take a step forward and look at yourself in the mirror and see the beauty that you possess. Now, I am not talking about the outer beauty I am talking about the inner beauty that supercedes all beauties! If you have the light inside of you believe me everyone around you will see that light and will attract those who want what you have, so Karen get out of your funk and live. Finish your school I wish I had done half of what you have done but my lifes journey is a little different but I do not regret because I know that I would not be where I am today. And I feel grateful for my little accomplishments and yet my dreams are so big that I feel ready to explore my wonderful possibilities. I will not let my seperation (which I have yet to file) hinder the God given abilities that I know I possess and I feel excited with this new life for me. Yes, Karen, I cried like a baby for the first couple of weeks, I felt an embarrassement and failure in my marriage, but the reality is I have nothing to be embarrassed about and I did not fail in my marriage. My husband chose another woman and she is "different" well of course she is different she is not "me" and the greatest gifts that I do have are my sons who are by my side and learning to be the men that God wants them to be not what the world wants them to be, and this I say to you because this is what my sons are telling me and I feel this overwhelming happiness that even though I am in my mourning stage, I have the love of my sons and their support as well as the love and support of my family and my husbands family who are really there for me and the great friends that I have to empower me in whatever I decide. So I know that you too must have great friends who have not left you and are there for you and in regards to your in laws they will always be a part of your family, especially if you had a good relationship. I just spent Mother's Day with my husbands family. My husband by the way is not talking to anyone. By anyone this means, his own Mother, brother, sister and even his own sons's it's as if he has stepped off the face of the planet. The only way I communicate with him is via e-mail but he does not respond. So what I am doing now is protecting myself and doing what I have to do. I do not have much money and I may not be able to afford a divorce but I do need to get a legal separation so if you have suggestions please feel free to let me know. I cannot remodify my mortgage until I am Legally seperated. So any help from you will be great. Something that will not cost an arm and a leg will be helpful. Take care Karen and YOU CAN DO IT!!! LIZ

You Are Not Alone

Elizabeth Cortez — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:37:29 -0400

Hi beautirest46, When I read your story and many other stories about your divorce/seperation, etc. it amazes me that I am not the only one going through what I am going through. I have been married for 27 years and on March 21 of this year he left. I have been his companion but in the past years I noticed his withdrawing from me because I had this wonderful job working at a Church and learning and loving all that I did. I felt that in my marriage, instead of having someone appreciate and support me in my endeavors, I felt that he had to compete with me. I have supported my husband in everything. He has a great job and he D.J.'s on the weekends which for me has always been a big factor in leading us astray. His life is surrounded by how much money one could have and of course my life is surrounded by the love of God and how everything that we have is from God. My husband use to be a man of God but the world has taken him for a ride. There are major issues or demons that he has held so much inside of him that he is so afraid to go to counseling for the reason of having to dig up his past. His childhood was not a very good one. He had been abused physically as well as emotionally and this has affected our relationship. I know the hurt you must have felt when your husband left. I would like to share something with you and hopefully you will see how God has his own plans for us and is working behind the scenes in our lives as I am writing to you today. Well here goes..... As I mentioned early on I had the great opportunity to work at a Church and I loved my ministry very much. The more I learned, the more I put into practice in my life. Well, the mistake I made with myself was putting a lot of time in working and helping families be a family, especially with our busy society as it is, and I myself did not spend a lot of time at home. Part of the reason was my husband was always D.Jing a wedding or other occasion and even though I use to go with him, this would get boring to me just sitting as he played music. Our sons are young men now, one is out of the house the other two are at home with me, one is 22 and in college and the youngest is 18 and will be graduating from high school in a couple of weeks. They have been my complete strength in my life and now in this new situation. Well back to my story, anyway last year in July I really began to look at my life and where it was leading me. I worked in the parish for 9 years and was becoming very tired because I did not get the help that I had been requesting for some time. I was offered this wonderful opportunity to get a new position and work in our Diocese and I was excited but at the same time I was afraid! I got on my knees one evening and prayed to our God and simply just asked Him to help me with my decision. In my heart and soul I knew that I was not living a Sacramental Marriage with my husband and it had been only myself working in making our marriage better. My husband drifted further and further from us and yet his soul was always so unhappy. When in August of last year I applied for this new positiion and I left it entirely in God's hands to lead me where He wanted me to be. When I gave myself completely to God so many amazing things began to happen! First as I was filling out the application for the new position I at first held back due to the requirements or college education that was required for the position so at first I just put the application away because I felt of course that I was not qualified. Within that week a friend of mine stopped at my home and hand delivered another application to me and said fill it out! I opened the envelope and there was a post it note reading " Liz fill out the application you have nothing to lose" I felt God's presence just leading me in filling out the application. Within 3 weeks and an interview I got the job! Less stress, more money and more time to be at home with my family! I thought I was heading in the right direction, but also the fear of what was to come scared me. The fear being was that in talking to God and knowing that I really was not living a so called married life I have felt so alone for so many years and yet because I thought I knew what marriage stood for I stayed for so long in this marriage. I know now that working in the Church for 9 years He was preparing me for this seperation that was to be in my life and I knew that because in my prayers I asked for God's help in leading me where He wanted me to be. I would not be where I am today if it were not for God and for all the wonderful people that He has placed in my life. I have always been a joyful person and the person that I was married to always tried to take that joy away from me. The strength that I have is due to the faith that I have in God. Yes I am hurt I am shocked but I have felt His graces in me because I do not feel anger what so ever in my life today. I pray for my husband every night that he finds the peace that he simply chooses to not have right now but I know that he is a very unhappy soul right now so I continue to pray for him. Most importantly, in getting my new job I knew then that there was to be a seperation/divorce but I also did not want to face the truth I was in denial for the first couple of weeks. It has been a month now and I email my husband every day if possible some beautiful prayer meditations to help him on his journey, but I have taken the inituative to move on and to save my home from foreclosure and now I am seeking advice on how to go about getting a legal separation and I am finding an empowerment inside of me that my husband always tried to take from me. I believe that all individuals can have this empowerment of leading ones own life but only with the understanding that our God wants us to be the best versions of ourselves. A book that I am reading right now is "The Rythm of Life" by Matthew Kelley. This book is awesome pick it up if you can and read it because, like "The Purpose Driven Life" this book by Matthew will help you be the BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF and true Love will definitely come again for you, for me, and for many others. God Bless you in your new journey of life!

The "older" divorcee

kbruner — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 10:49:05 -0400

Hats off to all of you. I just registered for this web site and, here I am, posting already, something I never do . . . But I am so struck by how so many of you are in a situation similar to mine; and I thought I was so unique! I will qualify for Medicare this year, and have been married for 39 years,although the last five or six of those have really not be marriage certifiable. About six years ago, my husband began an intense relationship with another woman; I had no clue until I received a phone call one evening from her spouse, informing me of the relationship. Was I ever blown away! How could I have been so stupid. I actually thought we were in a good place. After being an Air Force wife for twenty-six years, moving 15 times, raising a son, having no career, I had finally come into my own. We had moved to a new city so I could work on an advanced degree and begin a university teaching career. Foolish me. My husband apparently could not handle a marriage that did not focus on him, and he took up with another woman . . . at least she wasn't twenty-five. . . . And she was a real piece of work, but that is another story. Over these past few years, my husband moved out for two, came back home, but again stupid me, didn't realize for a while that he had not ended that relationship. So you can guess what the tenor of our marriage was like. ( Poetic justice does happen, however, because I hear that she left him because he cheated on her!!!) But, all this is not the point. After years of what I think is emotional abuse, I have finally decided that I have to leave. He reminds me I have no financial claim to anything since he earned it all, so it is only his generosity that allows me a life. But that too is another topic, that I know better about. I am so sad. I feel like I need a sense of closure to all of this, my the guy is really emotionally challenged and a coward. He has never shared with me how and when the relationship ended; if, in fact, it has ended; why he stays in a loveless marriage. Never has he apologized for the enormous emotional hurt he cause; I would think after all this time I at least deserve that. When I told him I wanted out and asked him how he felt, he replied that he didn't know. I am leaving the city in which I have lived for almost fifteen years. Although I am lucky to have found an ideal situation, I am moving in with a cousin my age who was recently widowed, and I will finally be away from my husband' constant carping and criticism, I just can't seem to get beyond the feeling that after all these years, and all these experiences, I have to move on. How does one divide up the vestiges of a lifetime; we lived around the world and have physical remembrances of all those places. How does one going about breaking up a home? How do you divide up possessions? How do you split up the Christmas ornaments that each symbolize a special Christmas? Who gets fondue pot? Who gets the All Clad pans?Why do I feel so tearful? Why am I scared? I am not scared of being on my own, but I think of losing the sense of identity I had for 39 years, as well as a certain comfort zone. I realize that comfort is not quite the right word, but how do I get over feeling that i am leaving my home, my roost, my safe place (although I realize that it isn't totally safe). Someone tell me how to put such a long term marriage behind me. And like one of the bloggers before me, I feel like such a failure, in so many ways. I am not particularly attractive, so another relationship is unlikely; I still have not finished my graduate degree that I started fourteen years ago, so a new career is down the drain. ( I am determined to finish it, however; I just have to finish a dissertation). I feel I have let down my in-laws, of whom I am quite fond; my adult son will still love me, I know, but it really won't be "our family." As I said before, I am so sad, but know I have to leave my current situation before I completely lose me. But it is cathartic to write all this down, and there is so much more.

After 30 years...

Anneo — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:57:07 -0400

I have become the statistic. We are not divorced, but a piece of paper only helps the legalities. His new girlfriend or even wife (in another country) is 32. I am 55. Can it get ANY worse? If it can I really don't want to know. My husband wants to stay friends and be able to come and visit our daughters who are currently living at home. He also has no problem with us going on a cruise that he proposed for a few months from now. I asked him if he was out of his mind. He can have another girlfriend and all that goes along with it. But, I couldn't even think of being with him and knowing about her. He asked would you rather I don't tell you? what kind of a dirt bag is he...You think you know someone. You believe in someone. A person who is an extremely successful and famous business person has the personal integrity of a cockroach. He is a spoiled child whose power and wealth has enabled him to believe he deserves it all and is above it all. He wants to be friends. The worst it that my oldest daughter (27) believes that I caused him to cheat for the past 10 years. My middle daughter (25) is so excited as she will have a new family perhaps...since I had all girls, perhaps the 32 yr. old will have a boy! My youngest (21) is disgusted because she was the one who got the phone call from her friend whose mother saw my husband with this other woman. I want the pain to stop. I have tried all week to talk myself into feeling better. I am so exasperated. What to do at 55. Where to work? How to cope. I recently moved to a new state because of better weather for the health of my oldest daughter who became a quadripilegic 4 yrs. ago. My husband already tried to play the card that my daughter's accident opened his eyes to life and he didn't like the way his was going. Because I am so easy sometimes, I think the my husband is entitled to his feelings. How would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot and I wanted out? Would he object? Would he feel as I do? Perhaps I should get a grip. If I only knew how I would...I am so sad and feel so lost. And now my children look like strangers to me..

I could use more encouraging words.

Guest — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:19:53 -0400

I am in the process of divorce. My husband started to go out with his co workers who are in their twenties. He is in his fortiies. He has been increasingly ver bally a busive and distant . He has been coming and going as he pleases. He started to sleep in the basement (his choice) and only coming up when I am gone. I feel very rejected but also angry. I have requested that he leave repeatedly , with replies he will leave soon - and starts his name calling. What makes matters worse is that I have a teenage son and when I attempt to comfront my husband he hasa fit and blames me. I lost my mom a yr. ago - she was my best friend. I feel so alone and do not know what to do.

Pita wise words

Guest — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 15:53:47 -0400

Wlhen rejected from your husband you feel unloved and worthless. It is good to have positive affirmations .

You Are Not Alone

beautirest46 — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 03:56:08 -0400

I was married for 23 years. I didnt' have a clue that the marriage was broken. This hurt me more than anything. I wasn't given a chance to fix what was broken. Neither was I told. I thought everything was great. The shock of it all hurt me terribly. The betrayal of a friend that I thought I knew decided that it was Over. Then tells me , It isnt me.. Being the one that was LEFT I think hurts the worst. The fact that I always loved being married was now, I'm alone. My children are gone. I kept the dog . I do know that with God all things are possible. I read the PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE BOOK. Because, I now had to find WHO I AM AGAIN. I lost myself knowing that I am a WIVE, MOTHER AND was a Dear Friend that gave there all to this person. I beat myself up a whole year with hurting, crying, not eating, I lost 15 pounds. I starting getting so much compliments from people. Asking me. What are you doing. YOU LOOK GOOD> I would say STRESSING>. Of course I made them laugh but I was seriously hurting. It was hard getting up and dress everyday. One day I laid in Bed and beside my bed was a pamplet and it that book it said. FEAR PARALIZES BUT FAITH ENERGIZES. I kept that thought in mind . It kept me getting up everyday. Also. I remember a friend of mind telling me. That the word FEAR means. FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL. So if you can keep the promises of God in your mind. He said , he will never leave you nor forsake you. His words will always be true. Man will fail you. How I am getting through is by knowing that everything that I have ever gone through and came through is because of My FAITH IN GOD. This doesn't mean I don't feel lonely. I do. But I do know. When I focus on GOD. He gives me JOY. The JOY that man can't give. The hurts is still there. Each Day it is getting better. I don't cry like I use too. I do need to surround myself with a support group. I did go to therapy. I took about 8 sessions. I remember one thing that she told me that I must do. FIND ONE THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. I told her my family made me Happy. She said. well the kids are grown and now you aren't going to be married. I need you to only THINK ABOUT WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. THAT WAS SO SCARY. I didnt' know what made me happy. She said well the next time you come in. I want you to be able to tell me something. So I went home and the first thing I did was I lit candles and I took a BATH. I realize, I love taking a Bath. Not to say I didn't wash. I just didn't realize how important that made ME FEEL. So I say that to say this. If you just take a walk and smell the flowers. AT least you have did something that you enjoyed and let each day be filled with time for you to RELAX. NATURE HAS A WAY of bringing you closer to What is important in Life. CHERISH EACH DAY. GOD LOVES YOU AND BELIEVE ME>. I'm still getting up each day Because I put him first and he said. all these other things shall be added. FIND ONE SCRIPTURE from the Bibles and meditate on it until it soothes your soul. If you like. READ PSALMS 23 chapter each day. This will help you. JUST KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE WHEN YOU HAVE JESUS> GOD BLESS.

I FEEL THE SAME WAY

Guest — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:24:11 -0400

It has been one year good friday since my divorce. Some days it's an effort to get out of bed. We were married for 35 years. I was married for life. Divorce happens to other people not us. The shock of finding out about his affairs killed me. My spirit is forever changed. The friends were surprised. Really surprised. I try to keep busy but some days are juat more difficult than others. The holidays , birthdays special ocassions just not the same. I hope to get better at living this new life. hopfully reading your stories and hopeful messages will help.Reading your stories , knowing how long you have been married makes my story more common place than I could ever imagine. Thanks , for sharing

This to shall pass!!!!!

pita0926 — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:16:33 -0400

After 22 years of marriage and 2 affairs with a possible 3rd, I finally filed for divorced my husband. I have said that it would have been so much easier if I didn't love him so much, still. I devoted my life to him. I moved to Florida from New York because of his career change. I left my whole family behind and followed him. We have 2 beautiful children and never thought I would be a divorced woman,,,,,,EVER. It has only been a little more than a month and I have my good days and my bad days. You will get better. I spent the first couple of weeks sobbing so terribily, wishing that I didn't take the steps to divorce. I even thought that I should have just put up with his behavior, because I hated being without him. Then I started thinking........How could I possibly miss someone who makes me feel so awful? How could I possilby miss someone who has broken every promise he ever made to me? How could I possilbly miss someone who doesn't consider me IMPORTANT???? At that point my tears stopped. I can wake up every morning without feeling like I don't want to get out of bed. You need to look at this divorce for what it is. He has made a terrible mistake and you are to IMPORTANT to allow someone to make you feel otherwise. I know only to well what you are going through and I do have my moments and I do always think about him and wonder what is he doing and who is he spending his time with. I think that is only normal for us females. I agree with the other ladies when they say ...... surround yourself with family and friends. Even if you don't feel up to going out ... make yourself go. This is the only way to get past the pain. Friends always find a way to make us laugh and that is what we need to do on a daily basis. Find what makes you feel good and do it . You will survive my friend and you are not alone in your journey. You have all of us to support you. THIS TO SHALL PASS!!!!!!! keep the faith and allow God to guide.

A reader's cry ...

Guest — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 01:45:33 -0400

I too am just going through a divorce after 39 years of marriage. The grief still washes over me when I least expect it. Divorce recovery classes have helped me meet an upbeat group of people going through the same feelings I am and encourage each other to keep going. Private counseling has been exptremely helpful, find one you feel free to express your feelings honestly to. I've had antidepressents prescribed by my doctor and they helped a lot in getting sleep that is very important in keeping youself well. Women expecially are so good to each other when one reaches out in pain; look for other women to be with, church group, coffee club, after work with coworkers. But expecially look for upbeat positive people that understand when you're down and will be there for you when you need some positive reassurance that things will get better with time--sometimes lots of time.

The pain of divorce

Guest — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 00:51:18 -0500

My divorce was final 2 days after our 22nd anniversary and it has now been 2 years. I keep busy and am now involved in my church where I go to pray regularly. It is very helpful. I also try to meditate for a short time each day for positive things to come into my life and for abundance since money is an issue. I keep a gratitude journal since I got tired of crying so much and needed to start looking at my blessings each day. My friends are dying of breast cancer and so I am so blessed to not have that to deal with, etc. So, a gratitude journal and a daily devotional ( there are some made especially for divorce recovery) are wonderful things to help with. Having friends is so important and my ex isolated me for many years so I'm now having to try to make friends and it is hard since I am introverted. There are many good books out there to read and so I recommend going to a bookstore and looking for some. Believe me, as you can tell from all of the responses, we know what you are going through and wish we could all give you a hug!

It's amazing how many of us

Guest — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 18:12:04 -0400

It's amazing how many of us there are - I don't know if that's comforting or the reverse! My husband left after 32 years, a few months after the youngest child left for college. Some days I'm not sure which hurts more, the lost marriage or the empty nest - we had six kids and the house was so full; now it's just me and the two dogs.
It's nearly ten months since he left, and I still have to fight my mind not to keep thinking about him, holding one-sided conversations with him in my head. I had trusted him absolutely. Mid-life crisis? First he announced he wanted a sex-change operation! He refused to understand why I felt that would destroy the marriage. Then I found out he had a girlfriend on the side - who didn't object to the operation, of course - and a few months after he left, he announced his engagement to her! He plans to become a "woman", and have a lesbian relationship.
I tell myself, "When another woman steals your husband, the best revenge is to let her keep him." And it's true.
But oh, how it hurts. And my sons - all our kids are boys - are devastated by it all. He won't let them call him Dad anymore - he changed his name and demands that everybody, even his mother, address him by his feminine new name. He has reneged on every promise, and just shrugs it off, saying they weren't real promises anyway. The kids had admired him so much, hero-worshiped him because of his integrity. Now he has none, and they're heartbroken, they have no hero anymore.
Everyone thought we had such a good marriage. We'd walk around our small town holding hands, and people would come up to us and say how good we made them feel, so long married and still in love. And I wonder if he ever really was in love with me.
So I garden and journal, go to divorce support group, get together with friends when they have time. I got more hours at work (I need the money). Joined the Praise Band at church. Pray a lot. It all helps, but I think "not hurting" is at least a year off for me. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted??

Guest — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 19:23:55 -0400

I was left just before my daughter could plan a 30th Anniversary party for my ex and myself. I was "hit by the bus"-- no warning. He just freaked out and walked out. Everyone was stunned and I was devistated to the point of almost killing myself. I have now been divorced for almost 4 years. I have a totally different life in a new town that I love and I have made many friends from my Divorce Support group. We have some great times. One friend moved to Vegas and I visited her for my birthday and floated down the Colorado River. Take chances, make new friends, do a lot of "firsts" to make you believe in your own strength. My faith was a big part of my recovery. You need people to care about you and support you. Much healing comes from sharing your story. Find women going through the same pain and nurture each other. I did not believe anyone who told me I would heal someday, because my husband was my life. He should not have been. You will heal-- I promise. It's just bearing the pain in the meantime that is so hard. God bless you and I send you a wish of peace.

Katherine, My heart goes out

Guest — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 16:31:05 -0400

Katherine,
My heart goes out to you. After 32 years of marriage my husband walked out of our home and into the harms of a 24 year old. That was 15 months ago. I got divorced in May. I met my x-husband when I was 17, he was four years older, we married when I was 19. He walked out when I was 50, he was seeking happiness and youth. I was the wife who woke up everyday grateful for my husband and family. I have always worked a full time job, kept a beautiful home, hosted many holidays and parties, supported him through business losses, new boats, motorcylces, expensive vacations and the death of his parents. I have always kept myself in top condition and have been mistaken for being 10 years younger. I was never a bitch but out of frustration I would yell when I could not take one more second. The first thing I did when he left was call a woman therapist and in the beginning I went to see her 2 times a week when my pain was unbearable. My pain was so deep that the best way I describe it is; I had died and my family forgot to bury me. I went to work but could not focus, I went out in public but hid behind sunglasses. I remember breaking down in sobs in my local grocery store. Every woman had on a wedding ring and every shopping cart screamed family and marriage, while I deposited meger items of yougart and fruit in my cart just to have something in my refrigerator. I loved grocery shopping in the past, I hated it that day. Going through the first of everything is the most difficult and most painful in my opinion. Holidays, anniversary, birthdays, and Sundays are no bargin either. Keeping busy, listening to upbeat music, tackling issues that scared me, exercising and spending time with family and friends have been the things that have helped me through the pain. For me feeling the pain was the best way. I did not take drugs, or drink my pain away, I felt it and I let it bring me to my knees. I cried till there were no tears left, or so I thought. I often thought of the many beautiful, lovely woman who where going through the same thing I was. Christy Brinkley's marriage fell apart at about the same time as mine, it gave me solace knowing I was not alone. The first few months was continually daily pain, than came weekly pain followed by monthly pangs. After 15 months I will hear a song and instead of it bringing me to my knees, my heart will hurt for several moments and than I continue on. Write your feeling out and please know you are NOT ALONE. There are millions of us wonderful, caring, beautiful woman who have or are now feeling your pain. There will be times when you go out and have a great time and times when you want to be home. But keep going out, keep smiling and love yourself for all your wonderful qualities and something I heard on Oprah stays engraved in my thoughts...don't seek the booby prize, (meaning him) go for the gold!

A Reader's Cry For Help

Katherine McKee — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 09:30:00 -0400

At First Wives World, we love it when you write to us! And we especially appreciate it when you comment on our bloggers' posts. After all, you are the FWW community.

A reader wrote in a few days ago with the story of her marriage breaking up after 25 years:

"I celebrated my 25th anniversary in July, in August he left. I'm not doing
well, lost 10 lbs., shake and just can't stay focused. He was my best friend, my whole life. I'm lucky that I'm financially secure, and my three children are all grown. But it hurts so much, some days worse than others. I would like to know: When does the pain end? When do you start feeling better about yourself and actually go out and have a good time?"

We think the FWW community will have some advice for her. Many of you have experienced the very same emotions and can offer words of wisdom and support. The collective experiences of so many women who have gone through, or are currently going through a divorce can help. We — and you — are here to help!

Feel free to reach out and comment below to help this reader. Have a terrific day!