firstwivesworld - Then It Hit Me: I Need Out - Comments

You do realize ....

Guest — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:47:23 -0400

The Lord of the Rings is a fictional movie full of hobbits and gremlins? For you "to be hit by a ton of bricks" from a stupid line written by some pot-head smoking script writer is idiotic. Go get therapy, but do so for your mental condition. i'm happy yet i don't fall into the arms of my wife after a day of work... that's unrealistic and you find that anywhere outside your marriage from any guy that you've been with for over 3 years.. happiness is the comfort of knowing you care for each other.. if you have stopped caring for him--leave. But for heavens sake don't have a moment of clarity derived from a dumb hobbit movie.. i mean "you almost stood up and announced you were packing your bags?.... do him a favor and leave... he probably felt you guys were spending qualitiy time on the couch together that night... what a fool... after all he must be, he's a guy. right ladies? joe

I can relate to that moment,

JulieSavard — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:20:14 -0400

I can relate to that moment, the one where you just open your mouth and nearly announce it. And the moment where you close your mouth and realize that you're really going to do this. Life isn't fairytale marriages, most often, but it isn't what you're living through, either. The day will come when your mouth opens and you will say what you need to say. Because you do need to say it. And you know that. Not today, not tomorrow... but soon.

Then It Hit Me: I Need Out

Megan Thomas — Wed, 14 May 2008 08:21:19 -0400

I'm beginning to realize that this state of limbo just isn't going to work.

A while back I decided to just disregard the feelings I had about leaving, and to push it all aside and just go on like everything is fine. You know what? Everything isn't fine. It hasn't been fine for a long time, and it's not something that I can just decide to switch on and off.

The fact remains that something has to be done. A decision has to be made soon.

How did I figure this out? I was sitting on the couch, working on my laptop while my husband was watching TV. There was one of the Lord of the Rings movies on — I'm sure don't know which one it was because that's not really my cup of tea — and I glanced up just in time to see a scene where one of the guys returns home to his kids who leap into his arms and his wife who smiles, embraces him, and gives him a loving kiss.

It hit me like a ton of bricks: Married couples should be happy. I should want to kiss my husband when he comes home. I should smile when I see him walking toward me. I'm not saying that everything should be sunshine and roses 100% of the time, but how much longer can I wander around in the fog of "marital issues?"

When I saw that scene on the TV and had that reaction, I almost stood up and announced that I was packing my bags.

I'm trying to be practical about all this. I'm trying to give this situation as much effort as I can. I'm going to therapy. I'm trying to be a good wife. For goodness sake, we just booked a vacation for this summer!

I'm doing everything I can think of, and I have been doing it for months. I'm exhausted, and I'm starting to freak out a little.