From A Child Of Divorce: When Kids Know You're Divorcing

Antonio — Mon, 12 May 2008 08:34:44 -0400

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "kids aren't stupid" and they are very intuitive. I never saw my parents fight or even raise their voices to each other, but I knew they weren't happy. There was simply a shift in their behavior that didn't seem quite right to me. They didn't seem quite as affectionate as before. I noticed my dad started working longer hours than usual. My mother started taking me on more weekend getaway trips out of town. So what did I do when this started happening? I asked my parents up front "What's going on?"

Now I'm sure most kids aren't like me ... as a matter of fact, I know most kids aren't like me. Most would probably become shy little snails, some would lash out with bad behavior and others might even try hurting themselves because they feel in some strange way that the divorce is their fault. I never had that opportunity because of the forethought of my parents.

At an early age I got involved in the performing arts. I started the drama club at my elementary school because I wanted to be on stage. When my parents started the divorce process they really ramped up my involvement in performing so I was too distracted to see all the rest of the stuff that was going on in the background of my life. As I stated in an earlier article my parents thought out everything they did concerning my upbringing and I see it more now (of course) than I did then. They tried to keep my life as "normal" as possible and I thank them for that. My father and mother took me to rehearsals and helped with fund raising for special events and they attended all my performances, of which there were many. They were both really involved in my life and made me feel secure that I had a strong "family" foundation even though my parents weren't in the same home.

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From A Child Of Divorce: When Kids Know You're Divorcing