firstwivesworld - None Of This Is Mine Anymore - Comments http://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/house-bloggers/elaina-goodman/none-mine-anymore Comments for "None Of This Is Mine Anymore" en I don't think it's hoping http://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/house-bloggers/elaina-goodman/none-mine-anymore#comment-5431 I don't think it's hoping for whether a good or bad thing. I think it hoping for answer, which, no matter what the answer is, is a good thing. Sun, 11 May 2008 15:29:03 -0400 Elaina Goodman comment 5431 at http://www.firstwivesworld.com I hear you. RBYS http://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/house-bloggers/elaina-goodman/none-mine-anymore#comment-5426 I hear you. RBYS Sun, 11 May 2008 10:55:32 -0400 Guest comment 5426 at http://www.firstwivesworld.com Is it hoping to lead you to http://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/house-bloggers/elaina-goodman/none-mine-anymore#comment-5425 Is it hoping to lead you to whether this is a good or a bad thing? It doesn't always need to be a deep thought- it could just "be." CM Sun, 11 May 2008 09:36:53 -0400 Guest comment 5425 at http://www.firstwivesworld.com None Of This Is Mine Anymore http://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/house-bloggers/elaina-goodman/none-mine-anymore <p>The other night I lay in bed with Sam at his place. The bed that used to be my bed, my favorite piece of furniture. The nightstand that used to be my night stand. The husband that used to be my husband.</p><p>And none of it felt like mine anymore. Laying there, body next to body, I was thinking: This man is my husband. And the words surprised me.</p><p>I don't feel married. Haven't worn a ring since before I left.</p><p>This man is my husband. I don't know what that means anymore.</p><p>There's no judgment, no longing. Just the thought. This man is my husband?</p><p>It's close to two years we've been apart together. I haven't dated anyone else. Haven't kissed anyone else. Haven't had sex with anyone else. In 15 years there hasn't been anyone else.</p><p>When I write these posts, I always feel like they should to go somewhere deep. Land on some wise thing.</p><p>I don't have that. No clarity to offer.</p><p>I'm just keeping with these words, meditating on the thought: This man is my husband.</p><p>This man is my husband.</p><p>If I repeat them enough, they'll lead me to the truth.</p> http://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/house-bloggers/elaina-goodman/none-mine-anymore#comments contemplating divorce living apart together Mind and Spirit Sex and Love House and Home Contemplating Divorce Sat, 10 May 2008 16:00:00 -0400 Elaina Goodman 6708 at http://www.firstwivesworld.com