School Plays and Other Disasters with the Ex

Marsha Temlock — Wed, 07 May 2008 08:14:42 -0400

When Ellen was planning her parents' 50th wedding anniversary, one of the most difficult things she faced was convincing her ex to switch vacation schedules so their son could attend the gala event in California.

"Bob is a rigid digit. I knew he was going to give me a hard time because he resents being shut out of my family. Bob loved my parents and he would have liked to attend their celebration which was never going to happen. Not if they wanted me there!"

The upshot is Bob stuck to his guns. The boy missed the party and was furious with his father.

For both parents and children, visitation is critical in establishing a healthy working relationship during and after divorce. A flexible visitation pattern demonstrates love and support for your child. Parents who cooperate are able to separate their spousal relationship from their parenting relationship. They use visitation as an opportunity for healing, not an opportunity for revenge.

That said, how should you handle important events if you and your ex are constantly engaged in a standoff? How can you make the best of a difficult situation? Here are some pointers:

School conferences are always a challenge. If your child needs special services, arrange for a one-on-one conference and ask that a summary of any recommendations be sent to each of you so you and your ex are on the same page.

Pageants, plays and recitals often have more than one performance. Communicate the one you plan to attend. If you cannot agree, you could, of course, sit in the balcony with a paper bag over your head, but that wouldn't be very adult.

Sports events, fortunately, have bleachers. Sit far enough away from your ex but make sure to cheer loud enough for your child to hear you.

firstwivesworld - School Plays and Other Disasters with the Ex - Comments

School Plays and Other Disasters with the Ex