firstwivesworld - Keep The Ring! - Comments

And it will pass

Wanda Woodard — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:52:55 -0400

I understand the sitting on the floor and crying. This divorce thing is the hardest experience of my life. The first year was a complete nightmare. I drove myself crazy with guilt. We're women after all -- beating up on ourselves is one of our best skills. Ugh! But, no more. Keep moving day to day; it does get better. It does improve. You will see. I am a living, breathing example of women's ability to make the most of it all and ultimately survive and be happy. You will be ok. And, here at FWW, we're all right in there with you -- day or night. We're here! And I mean that.

Your posts really touch me

Guest — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:30:13 -0400

I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your posts. Every time I feel sad and am sitting on the floor crying, I read one and it makes me feel like, this too shall pass.

You are a kind validator, CM!

Wanda Woodard — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:30:53 -0400

Thank you for being so generous with your comments and your time. I always love hearing your reation to my posts - - I know they come from the heart.

Laughing out loud, here!

Wanda Woodard — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:29:53 -0400

Ok, Guest, you made me laugh out loud -- I love that hit it with a hammer thing -- brilliant!! And you are right, if in doubt, just hang on to it -- it will come to you eventually. Me? Well, I regreted it for a second, but, today? I'm glad I tossed it. LOL!

keep it

Guest — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 22:38:06 -0400

and sell it. especially if it's gold. gold is at an all-time high right now. you can hit the damn thing with a hammer first--they don't care what it looks like when you go to sell it; they just weigh it. and if you don't know what to do with it, well, then, you should probably stuff it in a drawer and hang on to it for the time being. but remember, as the lady says, they're just things.

You are just fantastic! CM

Guest — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:13:13 -0400

You are just fantastic! CM

Keep The Ring!

Wanda Woodard — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0400

I did a really stupid thing — I threw my wedding ring in the trash. I was mad. I was angry, and I never wanted to see the damned thing again. Of course when I ended up at the Department of Human Services filling out papers for food stamps, I was mentally cursing myself.

Keep the ring! Wear it, don't wear it. But for God's sake, keep the ring! Sell it, have it made into a necklace.

Was your ring important to you? What does a wedding ring mean? You belong to someone? Wait, that would make it more like a dog collar and a rabies license wouldn't it? If lost, please return to Mr. so-and-so at such-and-such address.

Okay, now I may just puke. Did I say keep the ring?

But, you can throw away reminders, photos, papers. I tossed and burned those, too. It made me feel good. It was like shaking off the last really awful memories of a very painful and disappointing marriage. I was glad I did that.

Of course, what about the photos with your ex and your children? What's that old saying, oh yeah, "that's like throwing out the baby with the bathwater." Yeah, I held on to those photos. It used to hurt to look at them. It doesn't anymore.

When you can look at the photos or the items that came into your life while you were married without feeling pain or sorrow or regret, you are healed.

I don't seem to care about anything related to that part of my life anymore. I am moving forward and onward and upward. I am no longer "anyone's" possession.

Nobody owns me. I am my own person. I am free.

And, my fellow FWW visitors and bloggers .... me likey, me likey a whole lot!

No one to judge me. No one to bitch because there isn't any tea made. No one to expect, demand, blame, cage.