firstwivesworld - What If Your Ex Was Diagnosed with a Fatal Illness? - Comments

The only organ that can regrow

Wanda Woodard — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:52:30 -0400

You could draw a parallel between his liver and your love for one another. The liver is the only human organ that can literally reproduce itself. I know this, not because I'm some kind of liver nut, but because my dear friend, Kim, donated 67% of her liver to her recovering alcoholic sister. Yep. She did this knowing all the dangers and risks to her own life. Most of the family members were against it. Afterall Gloria had brought this on herself, yes. So, how come she deserved for her baby sister to lay down on a table and willingly allow some surgeon to cut out 67% of her liver and put it inside the body of an alcoholic. As Kim says, "I wasn't a hero. I simply wasn't ready to lose my sister." Gloria's liver grew to normal size in six weeks!! How remarkable is that! She is alive and well and has not had a drink since. That's been a few years. Kim recovered nicely, grew her liver back, and is closer than ever to her remarkable sister. If a liver can grow back, so can your love. Listen to that very important "other" organ, your heart, not what others say. You'll know what to do.

Hmmm... for better or for

Guest — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:22:19 -0400

Hmmm... for better or for worse seems a bit cheesy here, but it does make sense. He has to want to stop drinking, first of all. Secondly, what are his options? Is a transplant something on the table? I don't know anything about this, but my guess would be to consider your options and weigh them all carefully. I'm so sorry you have to go through this- good luck. CM

What If Your Ex Was Diagnosed with a Fatal Illness?

JulieSavard — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:00:16 -0400

This is the question I face. My second ex, the one I'm trying to continue to have a relationship with despite not living in the same household, announced bad news recently. His doctor told him that he's teetering on the brink of cirrhosis of the liver. It's almost shot, just hanging on by a thread.

It wasn't really surprising news for either of us. My ex has struggled with alcohol for many years. His whole family has. Out of 13 children, only two aren't heavy drinkers.

He's one of those functional alcoholics. Admittedly caught in the cycle of needing drink and hating it, he manages to hold down a good job, bring in a steady income, and be relatively normal most of the time.

Sometimes he binges. Mostly he just tries to keep his drinking to something passably acceptable — and doesn't seem to quite make it.

If he keeps it up, he'll die.

I couldn't help but think to myself how stupid we all can be, fighting over petty things that don't matter and battering each other emotionally because of unfulfilled needs and misunderstandings. Personalities clash, arguments happen, and they're punctuated with the poignant irony of two people who still love each other.

We just can't get along. How silly is that?

I want to say that some big miracle happened, that my ex foreswore all alcohol and turned a new leaf so we could focus on what truly matters, but things like that only happen in the movies. There was no huge revelation or monumental change.

So I find myself wondering, what now? I guess everything stays the same and we all try to continue living with the monkeys on our back, each in our own way.