firstwivesworld - Beginning the Child Support Battle - Comments

ha ha

Faith Eggers — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:15:57 -0400

...and I know just the woman to do it...!! You always make me laugh Wanda. Thanks for being here with me.. Faith

Good idea

Faith Eggers — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:15:02 -0400

Thanks for the book suggestions...that's a really great idea! Its important to know what you're up against, right? Thanks again.

Ah, just think- when the

Guest — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:14:04 -0400

Ah, just think- when the courts start to garnish his wages and/or throw him in jail- that jerk deserves all of the crap that is going to get slung his way. Bottom line- broke or not, by law he is required to provide for his child. Period. The court system doesn't take lightly to dead-beat parents. CM

I am so behind you!

Wanda Woodard — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:54:24 -0400

Faith...Have "faith". You are doing the right thing -- Gosh darn it! That man needs his ass kicked! This pisses me off. I guess I take it personally, as I am so sure most of us do. His family sounds horrible! Geesh! GO GET ADRIAN'S rightful financial support from his father! Arrugh!!

You can do it!

Guest — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 09:54:52 -0400

Faith, I (luckily) did not have any children with my ex, which would have been disasterous due to his infidelity, crazy actions by he and his girlfriend, and his families total lack of acknowledgement of his extremely selfish, narcasstic actions. But, like you, I did not realize how much his family lacked really any kind of healthy communication (example: his sister and brother in-law did not know about his infidelity and our divorce until the day before it happened). They only knew bad things were going on because I told them.) I hate to label people, but Levi is definitely a narcassist (like my ex). His actions (along with his parents) are so off the wall from what most people would consider appropriate and normal, but they cannot see this for themselves since they are masters at denial and creating an extreme reality of righteousness. I am glad you got rid of him, as so I am with my ex. I really admire you for going after what is rightly yours. Like you said, they are the ones who are wrong, although they obviously have been and will go to extremes to throw everything at you to try to completely doubt yourself (a classsic narcassist move, which my ex did to the point where he acted like he was entitled to act like the victim in the situation he obviously created). I would suggest getting a book on dealing with narcassists, to help you as you are dealing with them. I would also recommend the books Happier Than God by Neale Donald Walsh and Why Good People Do Bad Things by Debbie Ford. Like you, I am now in a much stronger place than I was 10 months ago, where these types of life changing resources become more and more of my daily reality than the old voices of those crazy people. And, I am back to loving life again!

Beginning the Child Support Battle

Faith Eggers — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 09:24:03 -0400

I am taking Levi back to court for child support. It's been quite awhile since I've talked about this, and truth be told, its been quite awhile since I've felt anywhere near strong enough to deal with this again.

Adrian is now a year and a half old, and Levi has paid practically nothing. I have to say practically nothing because he did send me that two hundred dollars, remember?

Not only has he not contributed financially, he hasn't bought Adrian anything. No clothes, no toys, diapers, car seats, cribs, NOTHING.

I was pursuing him for child support before, but I gave up when he and his family started, and continued, threatening me. Threats like, "I'm going to take him from you." Or, "I'll drag this out so long in court that it will make you crazy." Or, my personal favorite, "We're a very well connected family; keep it up, and you'll wind up in jail wishing you were dead." Right, umm..

Did I just step into an episode of the Sopranos? These people are crazy. I was still far too emotionally involved to realize that before. Now, though, that I'm a year and a half removed from the madness, I can see it for what it is.

The simple fact of the matter is this: I am right, and he (they) are wrong.

So, I'm going today to file the papers.

I know this isn't going to be easy. This isn't your classic run of the mill child support case. Levi makes a decent living, and his parents help him hide it.
He's driving a Land Rover, talking on a cell phone, sitting outside of a coffee shop, playing on his laptop — yet, he claims to be broke and homeless.

It's going to be my job, in court, to prove that he is not broke and homeless, that he does in fact make quite a bit of money, and that his parents are hiding it for him.

I'm nervous to get back into this, but I feel stronger than I did before.