Agreement

Guest — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 10:24:06 -0400

Since divorce is like a "death", this advice makes a lot of sense.

Deal So You Can Heal: 5 Steps to Grieving Divorce

Kim Olver — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:12:24 -0400

Divorce can leave you hurt, resentful, raw and drained — all at the same time. Being no longer coupled, but not exactly "free," at least emotionally speaking, can make you feel stuck.

But you don't have to stay there.

Allow yourself to mourn the loss of your marriage. No matter who decided to call it quits, it's perfectly natural to lament the promise your relationship once held. In our exclusive firstwivesworld series, "Get On With Your Life," you will learn that everyone deals with divorce in her own way — in her own time. The good news is once you deal, you can heal. Part 2 of this series will help you rediscover the woman you want to be.

For now, expect to go through the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance — before you will find strength and peace. Take stock of where you are right now so you can soon move forward. Here, a few questions to ask yourself:

ARE YOU IN DENIAL?

"This isn't really happening; I know it's just a phase and soon life will be back to normal."

"My husband is gone, my marriage is over, but maybe he'll come back."

No one can say what will happen in the future. But if you want to get past the pain, you must accept your current reality. Your marriage is over. Your husband is gone. You can hope for your future, but stop fighting what actually exists in the here and now so you can open yourself up to new adventures.

ARE YOU ANGRY?

"I hate my ex, the other woman, and/or all men in the human race."

Let it all out. Early on, feeling angry is actually helpful. It gives you something outside of yourself to focus on. But after awhile anger can be self-defeating. To figure out whether your ire has outlasted its usefulness, ask yourself:

firstwivesworld - Deal So You Can Heal: 5 Steps to Grieving Divorce - Comments

Agreement

Deal So You Can Heal: 5 Steps to Grieving Divorce