firstwivesworld - Easter Sunday - Comments

I just wanted to thank you

Guest — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 08:19:41 -0400

I just wanted to thank you so much for posting your views and participating in our little forum! It's great to know that people have seen this piece and have thought about it, and have the courage and make the effort to speak their minds in such a clear way. So, thank you! Julie (Sarah's friend & producer)

Thank you Helmy...

Sarah Farthing — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 21:26:26 -0400

Those are wonderful comments and I agree with them whole heartedly. I think Ahmed and I have tried to implement all six of those choices. I also think the hardest is the one you mentioned last: being authentic. I know it has been as hard for Ahmed to stay true to his religious integrity as it has been for me to stay true to my core values of full self expression. If either one of us had sold out on those, we would still be in a sham of a marriage and love can't grow under those circumstances. May I just point out, Mr. Saber, that you are writing from Egypt, and that I am so happy you are participating here! Thank you again for representing a viewpoint that needs more broadcasting in my opinion. Salem Alikum!

Bridging cultural conflict

mohdsasa — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:30:37 -0400

Dear Sara, There are always choices to be made in the course of conflict. Many of these choices are choices of action, but there are also choices of attitude. I can assume there are six choices necessary to bridge cultural conflict: 1. choosing to honor all experience. 2. choosing to listen (deep, respectful, and proactive listening). 3. choosing shared standards (this does not mean giving up on your own values, but modifying them to be more inclusive). 4. choosing a way forward. 5. choosing to care about people (about everyone involved, even those you disagree with), and finally 6. choosing authenticity (a commitment to an authentic relationship). Making these choices is choosing to resolve, rather than escalate, conflict. This is perhaps the most fundamental choice in conflict situations. If stakeholders do not want to resolve a conflict, resolution is impossible. Once stakeholders have decided to attempt resolution, there are numerous choices to be made, choices that either move towards or away from resolution. Conflict and culture dynamically influence each other in inseparable ways, and thus conflict resolution requires cultural understanding. Conflict is not inherently negative and can be a positive learning experience, but this is unlikely if its cultural underpinnings are not understood. Yours, Helmy Saber

Religion in our life

mohdsasa — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:10:16 -0400

I think that religion plays an important role in people's lives. My religion plays a role in my life in positive way. As with all the other religions, my religion says that we have to believe in God, honesty, heaven, freedom, studying, and respecting each other. I believe in all these things. Believing that God is in every place makes me do many good things. Believing in honesty and freedom makes me a person with a strong personality. I respect all people, just as I would like them to respect me. So, I think that religion plays a big role in my life and in all people's lives in a positive way.

Easter Sunday

Sarah Farthing — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:58:24 -0400

After a thwarted attempt to attend Easter Sunday services at St. John the Divine, my producer and I decide to take the morning to discuss the role religion played in my marriage.

For more of Sarah's story, click here.