firstwivesworld - My Ex-Mother-In-Law Passed Away and I Have Regrets - Comments

I am so sorry for your loss.

Guest — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 09:27:32 -0400

I am so sorry for your loss. It is always hard for the living to cope- obviously. But from my experiences with this, I know that she is watching over you and recalling all of the wonderful times you had together and wishing you only happiness and love. Remember the good times and know that the choices we make in life are not off the cuff- they are well thought out and with purpose. My heart goes out to you and your loved ones. CM

Mother-in-law

Guest — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 21:42:30 -0400

Hey Deb. I am so sorry to hear about your lose. Especially on that dreaded date. I always admire the way you speak, you write, you joke and even the way you mourn. Always so heart felt, honest and true. Friday was a bad day for me too. On the one hand it was my sons 21st birthday and we celebrated him becoming a man, but it was also the 3rd anniversary of my cousins untimely passing. I miss him. Suffering from the same illness, I more then often feel his pain. Your one of the strongest woman I know Debbie, and I know you'll rise above this sad time once again. God Bless you and all the woman who visit this site and hopefully I'll see you soon. Your cousin Joey N.

So sorry

Faith Eggers — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:52:44 -0400

Debbie, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about everything unspoken -- I think we've all been there at one point or another. Sometimes, there are things that are just understood though, and this is probably one of them. She probably knew how you felt. And knowing you, I'm sure she knew you loved her. Be well. Love, Faith

My Ex-Mother-In-Law Passed Away and I Have Regrets

Debbie Nigro — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 10:58:29 -0400

Teresa Natole, the most beautiful woman inside and out, my daughter's precious grandmother and my ex-mother-in-law, passed away last Friday. I am very sad. She died on the exact same day as my younger brother, Stephen, did three years ago. March 7th. Weird things like that always happen. On Friday I was teary all day.

Hurt me as much to break off with Teresa and my ex-father-in-law back then as it did my ex-husband, Lou. They were the sweetest in-laws in the world.

I hadn't seen Teresa in about a year. I had kept my distance intentionally over the years, first out of guilt and then out of self-imposed "exile," "protocol," whatever.

Lou remarried and I didn't want to be an intruder in their new family structure. I didn't think I was supposed to. There was a new daughter-in-law. I had chosen to shut the door and now I needed to stay in out.

Over the years, Teresa and I talked and visited a few times, but never as much as I should have or that I would have wanted to. There was always an unspoken love between us, and always, I am sure, an unspoken disappointment in my choice to break up a family. For me there was unspoken guilt every time.

I have so many regrets as I remember her smile and her voice and her kind heart. I really wish I had figured out how to have managed it differently. I kept meaning to, yet the years kept flying by.

My heart is heavy. I know all too well the pain of losing a beloved parent and I am so sad for Lou and my ex-father-in-law and my daughter and the rest of the family.

Now comes the wake and funeral this weekend, and I will be the estranged ex-wife and ex-daughter-in-law...wishing I had done things much differently.