firstwivesworld - Thanks And Good-Bye, FWW Readers! - Comments

Dude...

Guest — Wed, 14 May 2008 09:59:39 -0400

Get a life.

CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE YOU BACK AT FFW VICKY...

Guest — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:55:59 -0400

REAL SOON... OOPS, I FORGOT.. SOON YOU WON'T BE A FIRST WIFE ANYMORE. YOU'LL NEED TO OPEN UP A NEW SITE NAMED "SECOND WIFE'S WORLD:... YOU'LL BE BACK SOON AS YOU REALIZE YOUR GUY IS'NT CAMELOT.. COMPLICATED CREATURE.. HE WON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU- NOT HIM... LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR NEXT "GO AROUND"

DEAR "GUEST LESBIAN"....

Guest — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:49:37 -0400

Why can't you admit, since all of us know by now lesbianism is not a choice - its something you either are or aren't at birth, that you wasted 10 years of your husband's life fooling him into thinking you love him- probably just to have kids... thanks for confirming all that I've said here! you made my day..

Wow---Glad to see I'm not the only one who saw through Mr. Nasty

Guest — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:43:58 -0400

Hey everyone! Thanks for all of the postings! I just got back from a 2 week honeymoon in Italy. Our wedding was wonderful and the trip was amazing. I finally had a chance to read through all of your comments and I must say, WOW! Initially, I was so taken aback by Mr. Nasty's comment that I wanted to lash back. I commend all of you for stating your story and sticking to your convictions. Believe in yourself and continue seeing through people who are bored with nothing to do but take down other people with negativity Again, thank you for the wishes. Ciao for now, Vicky

what's the point

Guest — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:47:11 -0400

Vicky, first of all, and above all --- we all wish you much love and happiness. Life is full of opportunities and open doors. And thank you for your voice on this site. As for Mr McNegative - please, find another site. You serve no purpose here. And look, while I'm at it - I'm pretty sure I know way better than you what lesbians look like. They look like every woman you have ever run across in every walk of life. Stereo-typing is a waste of time. And secondly, being a lesbian does not make you a man hater. I am a lesbian. I am also a divorced woman. I did not cheat on my husband...ever. He was a gentleman, one of the nicest people you would ever want to meet in life. I loved him then, and I love him still today. We had 10 pretty good years. Not perfect, because after all - even love cannot change who we are at our core. I, like the women that share on this site, have learned many lessons from my marriage and my subsequent divorce. In the end, we will all be better life partners because of our willingness to be open and to share. Whatever it is you are dealing with, I'm sorry. I am sorry you have been hurt or betrayed or life has not turned out the way you thought it should. But attacking others will not really make you feel better. Like I've said on other blogs where you have commented, perhaps you can find - or start - a support site for men. We all need to know someone has our back. Vicky - God bless you in your marriage. Guest blogger - May God be with you through your struggles. And to the rest of the bloggers and guest on FWW --- let's continue to build this community of support. We are exactly what each one of us needs at this juncture in our lives.

Congratulations, Vicky on your upcoming marriage, and Good luck!

Wanda Woodard — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:50:56 -0400

Every person deserves to be loved and find what true partnership and support are all about. It feels really good when someone can actually talk to you about their feelings and their dreams -- Wow, this was one juicy post dialogue prompted by a strange creature who seems to be filled with ugly, hateful emotions. How sad. FWW is a fabulous site, and it can and does help women going through divorce. In a way, I'm kind of glad for this guest's rough and mean spirited comments -- seems to have brought out the best in us all, wouldn't you guys say? Be happy, Vicky. Be loved. And be blessed!

No, thank you...!

Guest — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:50:11 -0400

Thank YOU for confirming what we already knew: That you don't work on Wall Street! I live in NYC and know quite a few people on Wall Street. Every one of them works 60-70 hours per week, from first-year analysts to senior VPs. Every one of them says Monday mornings are total chaos. Yet you somehow had time to go on this site, check your old posts, read my comment, and then respond...all on a Monday morning (3/24/08)?! Please... Give it up. You're just sad. The women who post here have all out-classed you -- they're being honest about their struggles and difficulties, while you're a disgruntled man hiding behind lies. But I'm sure it's not your fault. After all, "we do what we learn", right?

ahh, a product of divorce...

Guest — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 08:48:34 -0400

thank you for confriming all my thoughts about you... we do what we learn.. enough said

Okay, Mr. "$5 bet" -- what kind of woman am I?

Guest — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:13:28 -0400

Since you know so much about women, maybe you can do a number on me. Here's my profile: I think this is a wonderful site for women to share their thoughts and feelings during the very difficult process that is divorce. I wish my own mother had had something like this when she was going through her very difficult divorce years ago. She, like these women, didn't hate men at all. Since you're so "happily married" (hence why you spend your free time on a site for divorcing women), maybe you are incapable of understanding that people get frustrated at those who they love, especially when they are not treated with the respect they deserve. If you interpret expressing frustration and anger at one individual as synonymous with hating an entire gender, then you're clearly the one with issues. I suppose you've never grumbled about women. And on Wall Street (yes, we're all very very impressed by your job and vacation home), I'm sure you've never grumbled to a colleague about another coworker, because that would suggest you are a "colleague hater" or a "wall street hater". Well, that's your logic at least. If it sounds stupid coming out of my mouth/keyboard, imagine how stupid it sounded coming out of yours. And by the way, no one buys your "$5 bet" claim for a second. Do you actually expect anyone to believe you and a friend/coworker were actually browsing a site for women together, and you pulled him over and said, "Dude--I'll bet you I can get this chick to..."? Yeah, that's very credible. But of course, I wouldn't know how men work, right? I'm just like all the other women on this site..."lesbians" as you so brilliantly identified us. That's very astute. Pat yourself on the back for coming up with such an original zinger (page 5 of Rush Limbaugh's first book, perhaps?). Oh, and don't bother stating you "enjoy this site" and "offer solid advice on occasions". We don't buy it for a second, especially when in the very next sentence you once again degrade women and their choices. So go back to your imaginary wife, house, job, etc, and stop taking our your personal frustrations with women on people you don't know. Oh, and last thing--the "man-hating" site you read has...well...men on the staff. A number of them. Of course, they must hate men too. That would be your logic I'm borrowing once again. So...that's me. Are you ready to tell me what kind of woman I am, and what kind of childhood issues formed my view of women, men, and relationships? Go for it! Oh...oops...forgot one last detail: I'm a 36-year old man. Good luck!

Goodbye and good luck!

Guest — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:27:30 -0500

You'll be missed. Thanks for sharing so much on the site.

I agree....apologizing....

Guest — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 12:37:48 -0500

Sorry to lash out this morning, but comments like the above are ridiculous and hurtful. Usually, I take the "high road", but to be honest, I'm sick of being a dormat to people like the man posting above and I said exactly how I felt and the exact moment I felt it. Sorry to have surprised some of you, but like you, I am human. So, apologies to those who are offended, but I still maintain that this is website to be supportive...not mean or hurtful.

Okay, hold the fort!

Guest — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:34:27 -0500

Okay everyone, let's slow down and really think about the purpose of all of our comments. There are many assumptions flying around that do not serve anyone. I think that it is unfair to assume that most women on this website are men haters and will fail at marriage again. I tried to work on my marriage while my husband was cheating on me, and did so with knowing the marriage takes committment and hard work. However, I realized that my husband was not going to do what needed to be done to repair his part in the marriage, and I had enough dignity and self-esteem to get out of the situation. I, too, admire my parents who have been married for 30+ years. However, I am not going to aim for this with a person who is abusive and manipulative. We all have major times of growth in our lives, so assuming that one cannot learn and improve from a failed marriage is just fueling the cycle of marriage "doomsday" that exists in our country. And, what is the point of provoking and manipulating each other to get the responses we want, especially if it results in anger in the other person? That is a form of abuse that actually deeply hurts relationships, including marriages and is not helpful on this site. As a favor to everyone, if you do noy have constructive and supportive things to say, keep it away from this site.

i agree with some of what he's saying...

Guest — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 09:55:33 -0500

vicky- i've always enjoyed your postings, but i think you exposed a bit of you darker side in your response. why would being fat be a bad thing when you made assumptions about that guy.. like many other 40 something women here, i have some extra weight and though i am not pretty enoungh (like you) to post my picture on this site- i don't feel being (what you call) fat is any indication of failure in life. what give Vicky? i used to respect you.

i just won $5 from a friend..

Guest — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 09:44:45 -0500

i won, i knew i could.. i knew i could expose your real "man hating personality" in just one curt paragraph. this is so easy.. and its exactly why you will fail in your second attempt at love..like most here, you either been neglected or abused by some male figure in your past and you are projecting your own shortcomings onto your partners... i bet it comes out in your songs...don't worry about me. i am happily married for over 20 years, work on wall street, my wife stays at home and takes care of our children. we have a great home in a top town and we have a great vacation home as well. enough of me. and i do apologize for striking a raw nerve in you. i do enjoy this site and i offer solid advice on occasions- i just wish people on this site would work on their marriages as much as they work on their postings to this site... many women here "admire" their parents long lasting marriage on this site- thinking they had it so easy- not so- i am sure their parents have had many circumstances and pitfalls that could have derailed their marriage- but like most successsfull couples- they decided to work on their relationship- care for one another, remain committed to each other and respect each other as individuals ... event the darkest moments in a relationship can forster closeness and a deeper love for each other once you overcome rouch patches... that is what us long-term couples know that most of you here don't ... SORRY, but you WILL fail again in marriage.. jsut remember who told you first- thanks!

swallow the bitter pill

Guest — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 09:26:29 -0500

I am not as nice as some of the other ladies on here when they have responded to negative postings, and since this is my last one, here it comes. First, have the balls to use your name when you post shit like this. Second, if I had to guess, I would say you are probably alone, unhappy, overweight, hopeless, friendless and a real pain in the ass. Your self-esteem problems do not have a place here. Go see your shrink. This is a supportive community for people going through a divorce. Good luck with your lousy life, Vicky

Thanks And Good-Bye, FWW Readers!

Vicky Emerson — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 17:00:00 -0500

Well, I have had the pleasure of blogging for First Wives World for nearly a year now and this is my last post. I will miss your comments, insights, honesty, and stories. I believe in the mission of FWW to foster a community for women who are survivors of divorce. As I prepare for my second wedding, I have had the opportunity to reflect on my life through my weekly contributions.

The one piece of wisdom that I am the most sure of is that the time after your divorce is crucial for self-discovery and inner happiness. Look in the mirror and ask, "Who am I and what do I want?" Then, go find the answers. Uncovering the mysteries within ourselves is a unique process for each individual. But the end result is beautiful — realizing your truest self.

You don't have to cater to anyone or try to mold yourself into something because of an unrealistic expectation. Be yourself. Respect and love yourself. Because as soon as you realize who you are and own it, that is when others — male and female — begin responding to YOU. Not to someone you are trying to be, but the person you really are. You don't have to pretend anymore. You can be yourself and those around you will love you for it.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and if you'd like to stay in touch, please visit my Web site or my MySpace page.