P.S.

mistyr — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:29:56 -0400

I don't think he kissed me one time during the whole event.

I've been there

mistyr — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:28:54 -0400

I'd been reading that sex = bonding. I tried my hardest to feel sexy. I'd lost some weight due to the grief of the upcoming loss I was so despritely trying to avoid, so I looked pretty good in my new lingerie I'd been wearing (to feel sexy, of course). I quickly consented to my husbands advances, ready to "get the show on the road". Bonding, however, did not occur. I felt our bodies were so foreign to each other that I too felt like an actor. It ended quickly with total satisfaction (for him). He rolled over to glow, I rolled over to cry. I never saw the tears coming and he never held me afterwards to notice. That was when the marriage broke for me.

Sexual Psych-Out

Megan Thomas — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0500

I've already revealed that I don't have the strongest libido right now, and we've already ruled out any medical issues as the root cause. Since this is obviously a problem that is based in my head and my feelings, I once tried to just toss my feelings aside and get into sex like a willing participant would.

What a disaster.

I shopped for lingerie and bought two different pieces — one romantic and one naughty — and then asked my husband to choose one of them for me to wear. He chose the naughty piece, and so I went into the bathroom to get gussied up. As I was putting the outfit on I kept telling myself how this night would be the rebirth of our sex life. This would be the night my mind would click back to wanting to have sex, and if need be I would separate my emotional feelings from my carnal ones. Essentially, I was my own sex cheerleader.

I tried, I really did. Our sex that night turned into some bizarre situation where I found myself taking on a character as though I was an actress. I know some people role-play in the bedroom, but that's not what this was. It was more like a disassociation from myself in order to get through it. I couldn't shake the thought that I was sending mixed signals to my husband by acting as though I was having a roaring good time in the bedroom when all was not right in our relationship.

I'm sure none of these thoughts were going through his head. I'm sure he was more like, "Woo-hoo, we're having some great sex here!" and that was the end of it. Sometimes I really wish I could separate my feelings like that, but so far I haven't had much luck.

firstwivesworld - Sexual Psych-Out - Comments

P.S.

I've been there

Sexual Psych-Out