firstwivesworld - Cutting Off All Ties - Comments

It has helped my mood and

Rhonda Harris — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 09:01:48 -0500

It has helped my mood and many other factors of my life, by no longer taking part in his madness. I wish I had not took the bait from the beginning. There are so many raw feelings at the beginning, that it is almost impossible to not fall into this trap. I am becoming stronger everyday now, and it is showing through. Look world, Im on my way back. Thanks for the kind words.

I am not sure exactly how I

Rhonda Harris — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 08:57:45 -0500

I am not sure exactly how I want to respond to this. I also grew up in this time you are speaking of and having both my parents in the home, was a wonderful thing that I am still thankful for to this day. But classifing divorce as being done over "little things" alarms me somewhat. I cant speak for everyones situation, but my divorce certainly wasnt over little things. I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship much longer than I should have been. I can say without a doubt my children would have rather seen the divorce happen than the violence they were subjected to watching in their own home. In a perfect world we could all live happily ever after, but sometimes that just isnt possible.

sucks beeing

Guest — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:41:34 -0500

a 21st century child. Makes me glad I grew up in a time when people did not divorce over lil things.

When he sees that you're no

Guest — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 13:05:55 -0500

When he sees that you're no longer taking the bait, then he'll have nothing left to bug you with. Some people are so juvenile- good for you for not allowing this to continue. CM

Cutting Off All Ties

Rhonda Harris — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0500

I am cutting all ties to my ex that is not specifically related to our children. I am no longer going to fall into the argument trap. I see no reason to communicate beyond the children anyway. My ex just loves to get under my skin. This has to be true, otherwise why would he go out of his way to anger me? This has happened repeatedly. It always blows up in my face and makes me look like the irrational one.

He knows from experience what buttons to push and when. I am tired of giving him the satisfaction of doing it. He had constantly been having my son call on a daily basis to see "When are you going to come see me?"

I stopped that by a set-in-stone visitation schedule. We had been trying to allow the other parent visitation as our schedules permitted. This will no longer be the arrangement as it has been used to manipulate many situations. Something as simple as this cannot even be agreed on. So now, I pick up my son on a specific day each week and he stays with me for two nights.

Every toy I've bought my son since the divorce is at his dad's house. I was allowing him to take them home, instead of making him wait until he came back to play with them. Well, when I pick him up and he wants to bring something I've purchased for him, his father makes sure to remind me to bring it back.

Therefore, I think it will be best to have separate toys at each house, because this has become too much of a source of confrontation. Just little nitpicky things to try to anger me and I am no longer taking the bait.