firstwivesworld - Where Do I Find A Cambodian Husband? - Comments

Those figures are probably

Guest — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:19:04 -0500

Those figures are probably the same in Australia where I live but to me the difference is that men don't say their wife is in charge. I think Australian men would feel emasculated by such an admission whereas in Cambodia the reverse is true.

Those figures are probably

Guest — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:18:09 -0500

How is this different?

Guest — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:11:34 -0500

In the US, the women are in charge of the money and make the purchasing decisions and child rearing decisions as well and have since the start of the industrial revolution. According to common marketing sources, women make over 80% of the purchasing decisions in the US since the 1940's.

love Cambodia! CM

Guest — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 16:03:41 -0500

love Cambodia! CM

Where Do I Find A Cambodian Husband?

Karen Morath — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 09:00:00 -0500

Cambodian marriages have a recipe for success. The woman is in charge. Excuse me while I pack my bags.

Seriously, the woman controls the money, makes the purchasing decisions, raises the family and is recognized as the matriarch. Both parties know it going in and it works really well.

In his imperfect English, one happily married Cambodian man told me that men go to work and bring home the money to their wives. Any man seen to be holding any money back for himself, other than lunch money at work, is seen by his male peers as "soft" or "you know, a bit gay." Good men bring home the bacon.

In describing how marriages work, he said that if a married couple were buying a new car and the woman wanted a red one and the man wanted a black one, they would buy a red one and everyone would be happy.

Part of the reason for the success of this traditional role-sharing arrangement is that Cambodian men really value the contribution of the homemaker. The fact that they come home from work to a house, a wife, children, clean clothes and meals is wonderful to them. Like most single working women, I think it sounds pretty good too!

I am not sure why all recipients of such an arrangement don't just appreciate it rather than feel the need to critique it like so many western men do.

This traditional role breakdown also works because it is communicated well. Both parties understand what their rights and responsibilities are and they work together as a couple rather than two individuals.

Of course, the fact that many women aren't educated for any vocation other than marriage conditions them to this way of life. And the fact that education for women is becoming a more accepted and even encouraged aspect of Cambodian life will make this nation interesting to observe over time.