firstwivesworld - Making "Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes..." - Comments

Would love to meet

Guest — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 05:18:26 -0400

Sounds like you are in a good place. I'm not quite there yet. Guess I need to climb a few mountains or drive a few hundred miles before I can shake my routine.

Think I'll go see the Simpson's new movie tonight. You sound good though. I sure like the part about calling your own shots. I need to do more of that.

Barbara

GR ..R...R...R...ROWING!

Guest — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 04:57:09 -0400

That's how I see it. Being free to be me.
I had a similar experience. I was being suffocated by my bad relationship.
Getting out from under it has given me a chance to grow and literally find myself. I am so much more confident and happy. But I do miss having someone there every night. Tom and I were good friends even though things didn't work out eventually.

Ann

You've got to take care of

Guest — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:33:01 -0400

You've got to take care of yourself first and be happy with you before you can be happy with someone else. Yes, relationships are great, but you have to be with you forever.

A man isn't what's going to make everything alright!

Guest — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:16:33 -0400

You have to find within you. Find it there, support yourself, find a career, and you'll so much better off. Listen to suzzieq

I don't know

Guest — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:15:25 -0400

I miss being in a relationship and being taken care of, and looked after. The security of having a man to make everything alright. :(

I'm with you both as well :)

suzzieq — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:12:35 -0400

I'm single and loving it. I did feel a bit trapped when I was married. I mean, I miss the cuddle moments and the dependency of having someone at home when I got home everyday, the exchanging of ideas, of love, of accomplishments... but I'm in a great zone now, and will certainly find it again.. I'm just really happy now. I feared being alone when I first divorced, but it sort of freed me. I've now found myself, my own happiness, my own success, and I'm sure if I feel in love again, it would be a better relationship because of it.

I'm with you girl!

Guest — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:07:05 -0400

I'm 36, divorced and loving it. I have moved three times since I separated from my husband. I've met so many different people, tried so many different jobs and am now making a living as a financial consultant... and am now falling in love again. So keep calling your own shots Akillah! It does feel great.
xo, CL

Making "Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes..."

Akillah Wali — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 17:05:30 -0400

Every now and then, I find myself at a point of reflection — thinking about how my life has transitioned since my divorce and moving East, and how things have been made possible through a series of sacrifices and learning to operate outside my comfort zone. Since becoming involved with the First Wives World community, I've been bombarded with thoughts about the last four years of my life.

There have been many changes in my life since my divorce: Moving from Colorado to San Francisco, then to New York; bad job to good job to no job (employment being replaced by school); several changes of friends; and an ever-fluctuating waistline. These are just a few of the things that I've contended with in recent years. Sometimes I feel as if there has just been too much change and instability in my life — most people my age don't hop around as much as I have.

They have stable jobs, a home life or other adult-like responsibilities to keep them grounded. I have none of that. One would think that this would make me sad or regretful. On the contrary, I know that I've had opportunities to do and see things that I wouldn't have otherwise! Take packing my car and driving to California on a whim and moving to New York to pursue my degree. They're not things I could have done with a family. I love the freedom I have to experience life and all its turns, the ability I have to call my own shots. I know one day I will achieve "stability," but for now, it's all about finding happiness in the fact that I am doing exactly what I want to right now.