firstwivesworld - Things Are Coming To A Close - Comments

The sooner you get on with

Guest — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:02:32 -0500

The sooner you get on with the process, the sooner you can move on and begin to heal. CM

Oh Honey, maybe just chill for awhile

Guest — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 15:10:42 -0500

Randie, Once you get the divorce juggernaut started, it's hard to stop. You'll have legal bills and perhaps you have to sell the family home. Have you come to terms with the fact that you'll have to divvy up your 'marital estate'? It sounds like your soon to be Ex isn't very good at communicating the reasons why he's doing things. Maybe it's as simple as he doesn't want you to have to sell the house until the kids are at school? Maybe he's trying to give them what stability he can? Remember, his lawyer will point out that he had to start over too, and that you were living in the house, etc etc, although I don't know your financial particulars. Just think about it in terms of what will get you and your children the most right now. I know this is really tough, but if you could try and see him not as 'your husband', because he won't be much longer, but as the kid's father and source of potential income/school tuition etc for them. Remember, the more alienated they are, the less help they are likely to receive, human nature being what it is. Badmouth him to us, for days...but mabye not so much to the kids. Help them try to give him the benefit of the doubt. In two or three years, when you have a new better boyfriend and the kids need grad school, you'll be glad you took the high road. Good luck!

Things Are Coming To A Close

Randie Thomas — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:00:00 -0500

Well, The Dick was here for almost an entire week visiting the kids, and I have to say I was more than ready for him to leave. It wasn't a bad visit, but just being in his presence is very awkward. On the last night he was here, I brought up the subject of "us."

I knew my intentions going in to the conversation but I wasn't letting on. I just simply wanted to hear his. He was quite clear that he wanted a divorce and had no plans on seeking counseling or anything else as he had said in November. He did say that he should start visiting the kids more.

So we discussed divorce and he said he didn't have the money to file at this time and he really didn't want me to do so either. Basically, he doesn't have the money to put up a fight. To that I say, "Too bad."

If he were sending support I might think differently, but he hasn't sent home one penny since leaving. At least a court order would demand support and hold him accountable for it. Jayne turns eighteen shortly so he will not have to pay it for long, but he also won't get off scott free either.

And with the divorce comes some finality to our marriage. I always held true to our vows and when we got married, I had every intention that I would stay married to this man for the rest of my life. I was a child of divorce and never wanted my children to go through many of the same things I went through.

I tried my hardest. Unfortunately, my hardest wasn't good enough.