firstwivesworld - The Season To Be Jolly, Part I - Comments

I'm with you on that

girltest — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 10:38:57 -0500

Why do people lean towards ignorance being bliss? I'd rather know the facts of any situation so I can assess what's what. Since this is a site about divorce ! I'll speak to my divorce. My husband felt it was better not to tell me about his several affairs he had had in the past. He felt it was better that I didn't know, that it would hurt me more than help me. Even though he had convinced himself that he was ready to commit to the marriage, I really felt it couldn't go any further. So we divorced, at my insistence. The bliss eventually came in the form of independence and freedom from an unhealthy relationship, not my ignorance!

Interesting...

Guest — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 10:30:40 -0500

I can't wait to see where this is going.

The Season To Be Jolly, Part I

Akillah Wali — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 10:00:00 -0500

I seem to have missed that memo this year. Usually, with the coming of the holidays, I find myself in a euphoric state of denial - with the trials and tribulations of "the real world" somehow bound and gagged by tinsel and shut out with a bit of yuletide cheer.

This year was somehow different, as my longing to go home for Thanksgiving was foreshadowed with a sense of urgency, though I knew not why. I just had this nagging sense that if I didn't make the trip back to Florida that something bad was going to happen.

Turns out I was being completely irrational - I made the trip home and bad things happened anyway.

Actually, they happened before I got there - about three weeks before. I just happened to find out about it when my brother picked me up from the airport.

"Mom had a stroke and she has diabetes."

"WHAT!?" I wanted to jump out of the car.

"Well, we think it was a stroke. We have to get the results back. She didn't want us to tell you because she thought it would get in the way of your studies."

That's fantastic. Now my family is second rate to my education. I love the fact that I am 31 years old and other people are still calling the shots.

While I understand the rationale behind their not wanting to tell me about her condition, they fail to realize that withholding that type of information does not make the situation better. These are not the behaviors of a healthy relationship.