When Sam and I split 18 months ago, agreeing to "leave it open ended," our therapist warned that 80 percent of separations end in divorce

I thought, "Well, that's okay. At least those people who were unsure or unable to move directly to divorce gave themselves some time and space for thinking."

The statistic seems like a big "So what?"

I mean, at that point, the only things on the table were separation or divorce. Staying in it wasn't an option. So my 20 percent chance was better than the other option — a zero percent chance.

Now I wonder, of the 20 percent who reconcile, what happens to them down the line? Are their relationships any more or less susceptible to dissolution because they've already been to the brink without falling over?

A few weeks ago we were at friend's dinner party, the whole family. And we weren't the only couple there who'd come all the way undone without undoing everything.

Another couple had been separated several months and have been back in one home for a couple years now. A friend of mine was separated for two years and got back together for seven or eight.

I wonder: Do "second first marriages" face better odds than other second marriages? Is the seemingly higher rate of reconciliation just proportional to the high rate of divorce?

I also wonder if any of those numbers matter anyway. Just like the statistics our therapist threw out, they all kind of seem like a big "So what."